Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
