How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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