We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
