At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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