I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
