You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So much rum. So many feels.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
