Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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