She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
