I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
