Banned from zoo.
Again?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
