The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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