I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
