I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
