she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just pee around me
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
