is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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