so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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