im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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