So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
