wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
