Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
