you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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