i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
