hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
