I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I am mentally ready for anal.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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