well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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