I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
