If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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