My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
