stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
