I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
