I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
