cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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