I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
