we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
