she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
