I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
