Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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