we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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