Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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