I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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