Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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