How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
