i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
