so that wasnt chicken after all
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
