I'm so fucking centered right now
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
