So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
