I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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