I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
