hell yes lets make some ravioli
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
