I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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